Does anyone know where I can get one of those machines like the ones in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind why is this movie title so long?”

I’ve been trying and trying to forget last weeks debacle…and also looking forward to getting an opportunity to use the word “debacle”…’cause it’s cool sounding.

Being an Eagles fan and watching last Sunday’s game I have compared with being Italian and trying to watch Jersey Shore. (Thursday @ 10 on MTV … maybe that’ll get us some search engine hits) It was an absolute travesty from kickoff until the unnecessary running-off-the-field interviews. Not one element of the Eagles play looked sharp. The Eagles D looked better in the second half – sure, but the Cowboys were also playing more conservatively, being up by 3+ scores.

There are a few positives we can take from that game…albeit small ones:
1. We’re not the Giants or the Redskins
2. We’re the 2nd youngest team in the league
3. We had opportunities, we just missed them

Let’s clear up some misconceptions too -
a. The Cowboys did NOT shut down DeSean Jackson. If you watch replays, you can see he’s consistently open.
b. DeMarcus Ware and Jay Ratliff did not control the line of scrimmage – Donovan actually had time most of the game. Anthony Spencer had two sacks, but other than him the Dallas D did not dominate the line.

Since I’m clearly on a roll with these numbered and lettered lists, let’s try one more:

The Three Things the Eagles NEED to do to win this Saturday:

Stop the run – This can’t be emphasized enough. The Eagles ran SIX offensive plays in the first quarter last week. SIX. Gilbert Arenas carries more guns than that on a routine trip to Subway. If the Cowboys control the clock, we’ve got another long day ahead of us. Times like this are when we really miss Stewart Bradley.

Score early - The Cowboys are feeling the pressure of having to beat us again as well as the whole “no playoff wins since ‘96″ reality. A dubious record they share with only the Detroit Lions. If the Eagles score early and make the team get a little worried, they’re likely to start pressing and make mistakes – something Tony Romo is infamous for.

Normally, I hate to see a man cry - unless it's a Cowboy player, then I love every snot-dripping, tissue-grabbing second.

Don’t get away from what got you here. The Eagles are 8-0 I believe when we run more than 25 times. As much as I love Westbrook, LeSean McCoy hits the hole faster, and Leonard Weaver hits it harder. The more they can sell the run, the more they can open it up for Jackson and Maclin.

Hmm. That kind of sounds like a undercover cop duo – JACKSON AND MACLIN: “You can’t outrun the law! CBS Thursdays!”

Call me an optimist, but it’s not just me – lots of analysts see the Eagles taking it this Saturday night. Let’s hope so. I left losing to Dallas in the playoffs in the 90’s.

All together now…